Compassion, Caring, and Love

Being Virtuous can be difficult. Being a woman of God who displays Godly characteristics, that can some days be a challenge. Today was a challenge to me to be virtuous. Now don't get me wrong I am contentiously trying daily to have a heart of virtue, and to be Godly. I was not displaying Godliness and virtue in dealing with my children. G and H are the best of friends, G wants H to go everywhere with her and lay in her bed with her. H wants to do everything G is doing and just yells when she gets in the car from school everyday. They fight like cats and dogs multiple times per day. See H has had issues with her hearing, and we are not sure they are fixed and wont for another 9 days (This momma is counting). So even though H is almost 2, verbally she is not where she needs to be. I think that has a lot to do with not hearing very well. H tends to yell at G and then G yells back than I yell. I am not displaying a patience when I do this. I am learning everyday how to be patient, and encourage my children to show them what it means to be Godly.
On another note, I intentionally encouraged and enriched the life of my husband today. Hubs is not a big coffee drinker but sometimes he will drink a cup, so this morning I made him a cup and brought it to him packed him a very nutritious Lunch and just tried to encourage him with texts and calls throughout the day. Let me be honest, My marriage has been more pleasant with less arguing, less condescending talking, and less of me jumping to conclusions while doing this study. This study has opened my eyes to how I need to change I used to say "Lord speak to his heart, change him" I have learned Lord speak to my heart and change me so I can approach this marriage and Hubs in a different way. WOW has it helped.

One thing that he loved about me. One thing Hubs said he loved about me when we were dating and even now is my ability to not judge people, my heart to help, and my desire to do good. I have to admit in the last year one thing that drew Hubs to me and one of the big things he always loved about me I noticed was changing, my heart and thoughts were changing, and not for the better. I used to be the person that saw the person on the side of the road and would give them a dollar or spare change, or the person hanging outside of McDonalds that held up a sign about being homeless. I was the one who would find the money in the bottom of my pocketbook or take my money for Lunch and buy that person a meal. Well my heart to help and not judge and my desire to do good was diminishing. I did not like the person I was becoming. I was starting to roll my windows up and pretend like I didn't see the homeless person. I was the kid in elementary school who would give the kid whose family couldn't afford a coat the coat off of my back and I would go cold at recess and waiting for my parents after school so they wouldn't have to go cold. I would give someone else my lunch because I knew I would have food at home and I didn't want them to go hungry. That heart and desire Satan was pulling out of me, I was allowing him to place judgmental thoughts in my head, I was allowing him to harden my heart to the poor and hurting. How on earth could I become this person? How on earth could I demonstrate judging and criticizing of these people to my children and then preach and lecture about how we need to be accepting of all people because Jesus was?  It hit me like a ton of bricks one day and I just stopped dead in my tracks.OK LORD OK! I've said it before. God said to me "Hey Samantha, What are you doing? You are not listening to your heart, what happened to the caring and compassionate heart I gave you? What happened to the person who would do anything for anyone else, What happened to the person I mad? Where did you go?" I was like "Wow, Lord I don't know, I want to be the person you made me to be." So God showed me scripture and every time I started to judge or criticize I would pray for God to make the caring and compassionate person he made me to be. The Lord has been working on me. I don't always have Money to give, but I am going to do these bags I heard about, they have a bottle of water, a few food items, and a bible track. I want to have a heart of compassion like Jesus had. I mean come on people Jesus was friends with Lepers and Prostitutes. He dined with them when no one else would. WOW! Lord make me like them. My heart of caring and compassion that I am working on getting back, and miss greatly is a characteristic of a virtuous woman.
 

Proverbs 31:20

She opens her, hands to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.

The willingness to change is not a desire for me to change for me. It is a desire for me to change so I show God in everything I do. I don't want to change for me, I want to change for Jesus, I want my girls to understand that I don't judge and I Love because not only did he first love us but he ate with the lepers and outcasts of society that no one else would because he loved them and valued all people. All people are a gift from God no matter their struggles or their lifestyle, God loves us all the same, he doesn't love our sin but he Loves each and every one of us whom he created in the wombs of our mothers. I don't want to be in front of my daughters and say look at the things Mom did for these people. I want to sit down and say to G, H, and C look at the way God used me to touch the lives of people and show them the Love of JESUS! Look at how mommy was used as a missionary (even if here in the good ole USA) to let people know that no matter what they have done, God is a God of Love, and forgiveness. My girls should not judge it isn't their right we are all eventually judged in the end.

Prayer

Father, help me to have the heart of Compassion, Love, Caring, and Understanding that you made me to have, help me to be the woman of God you desire for me to be, continue to change my heart and make it the way it used to be. Lord I have allowed my heart to turn hard and cold and I do not like the heart I have now, Lord help me to be a better person and to see all people the way I used to see them as precious and wonderful gifts from you, that I won't judge or criticize that my girls will see me demonstrating love and compassion towards these people in a way that glorifies you and not so I get the credit but so you do. Help me to do it selflessly and wholeheartedly. AMEN.