I wanted to write my daughters a prayer. A prayer I pray on a daily basis since they were born, but it has been generic until about a year ago, then I began to intentionally pray for them because they are my world, and I want only the best for them. When I began my virtuous journey I struggled with how to pray for my children and my husband, I decided it was time to mix it up and truly pray for my girls, with my heart in it and my relationship with the Lord being stronger.
My Daughters: My prayer to my daughters is that they grow up to virtuous women. They are all their own people with their own individual personalities and I love them all so much. My girls are growing up in a house where prayer, reading the bible, and just having good morals is important. My girls are sheltered from a lot of things, yes this is true but it is the way my husband and I want to raise our girls. They are so full of Life and Amazing. Grace is 7, she is smart, funny, and energetic. Hartley is 3 and is my little mommy, and cares about everyone, she is a neat freak and everything has to be in its place and clean. Clara is just over a year and she is my goof ball. She likes to make you laugh and play games. I have been praying for each one of them everynight of their lives and before they were born. I have been praying for their salvation, their future spouse, and just for their life. One thing I NEVER thought I would never have to pray
Before they were born: Before they were born the prayers were generic. They were please keep this child safe, let them know they are loved more then anything, please save them. That was the prayer generic and well unintentional and with no real emotion. Occasionally I would pray for their future job and their future spouse, but it wasn't common.
Since my journey began: Since I began and continue on this virtuous journey of being a woman of God I want to tell you how I specifically pray for each child and why they mean the world to me.
Grace: For Grace I pray for her salvation, she told me she is saved but I continue to pray for her relationship with Christ that it will grow daily. That her hunger and desire to know more and more about God never ceases. I pray for friends at school and now in the future, she is a lot like me and will have a hard time with peers, and I pray she isn't like me in that she wants to please everyone and will give into temptation in her teen years because she thinks that will get her friendships. I pray for her future, and all the creative career ambitions she has such as being an astronaut and a teacher and a mommy and wife; those are some big shoes to fill. I pray her life is filled with glory and she sees love and joy in everything she does. I pray for her spouse that he will love the Lord and know the Lord like she does. I pray that she knows the Lord and understands the Lord needs to come first in her marriage.
Hartley and Clara: For Hartley and Clara I pray for their salvation, that I can express why it is important to have a relationship with the Lord and not just know about him. That busyness doesn't get into the way of us demonstrating to them about God, but that we show them daily. That they grow to know his love through us. I pray for both of them, there future whatever it may hold and that they fullfill the Lord's will in thier life. If they are to be missionaries, school teachers, doctors, lawyers, or pilots whatever they want to be that they will do it with a heart for the Lord and will have a heart of God. I pray for their future spouses that they are growing up to know the Lord and love the Lord as much as my girls do. I pray that their lives glorify him in everything they do.
I hope these things and pray these things for my girls. God knows the path he has for them, and I cannot ask him why if the path doesn't go the way I want but I know they are children of God and he will take care of them.
Friday, April 10, 2015
Sunday, February 22, 2015
A day in my shoes: I'm an adult with ADHD and processing disorder
A little about me:
I am a 29 (almost 30) typical wife, mother, and teacher. I have 3 kids and I am married to the Love of my life for 8 1/2 years. He and I met in college and he accepted me for me and everything that entails. Everything that entails is that I am an adult with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, a learning disability in math reasoning, and a processing speed disorder. Those are a lot of big words and big things that actually molded me into becoming a special education teacher myself.
A little about what all those big words mean: Okay so as an adult with ADHD it isn't too bad, I have learned over the years how to help myself focus better and be less hyper. What it means in some instances though is that someone is talking and I relate something to it, I say it and it doesn't always make sense and people do not always get the connection. I cannot always stay still when sitting or pay attention to the same person speaking to me for more than 45 minutes. I get distracted quite easily but I have learned many coping mechanisms and other things to help with the ADHD. My mind is always running. Even when I am tired my mind is always making connections, see ADHD is something where one thing makes me think of another, then that connects to this, and this connects to that. It is a daily, hourly and minute struggle to make sure I am staying on topic and not jumping from connection to connection. Now my learning disability just affects me in higher order math skills such as x+2y+3z=____ don't ask me how to solve it, I have no idea; that's not really relevant though. Now onto Processing Disorder. What is processing disorder do you ask? It is where I read, hear, or see something and it takes me a bit slower to process this information than most. People sometimes think I am ignoring them or that I do not understand what they are saying. That is not it, honestly. What it is, you are telling me something and I am processing what you are telling me. It takes me a bit longer. So if you are talking fast, giving me a lot of information at one time sometimes I have to ask you questions to fully grasp all the information that was presented. I do understand what is being said, I am just processing what you said. Unfortunately there is a hard part to slower processing and that is that it is hard to make yourself process faster, and when I am tired or stressed to the max, it is super noticeable. I have done lots of mental games over the years and mental exercises which I know have helped.
My day:
My daily life is hard, I have to constantly focus, consistently try to make myself trying to process faster trying to survive in a world where things are faster, always around me and more and more distracting each and every day.It is hard for me to finish tasks without me having to redirect myself or make sure I stay on task, this is part of my ADHD. I work so hard mentally each day to focus, stay on task, process information, and stay calm that by the end of the day I am exhausted. I am just so LUCKY and GLAD to be around a group of fellow teachers who understand and help me in my daily journey at work.
I love my job and my students. The hardest part of my job is the training and the meetings, not because I don't like them because I process things so much slower, meetings usually go fast and have a lot of information. A lot of the time the speaker is on point 4 and I am still processing part 2, it makes life difficult and people get frustrated when I ask questions, but understand I am NOT asking questions because I do NOT understand, I am asking questions because I missed something they said because I was still processing part 2 when they were on part 4. Trust me I have days where my processing and are lower than others, I have good days and bad, we all do. I have days where I am like "Processing Disorder, what Processing Disorder I rocked it today" Then I have days where I am like I got 2 words out of the last 100 words you said, can you repeat that and wait for me to process it. When I am tired or stressed my ADHD and processing disorders are so much more noticeable. I was in an important meeting the other day, and the person spoke, and I could not focus on them, so I did not process what they were saying, and they seemed offended when I asked them to repeat what they said, I wasn't trying to be distracted and that was my fault. One way to help Ok if you are telling me something and you can tell it's an off day for me for processing, slow down, give me a chance to process and answer, PLEASE do not repeat yourself then the processing at a slower rate just starts all over again. I know this doesn't make sense to a lot of people and that is okay, but remember the children I teach, I have to watch myself too. I talk fast and my students tell me sometimes to slow myself down, and guess what I have to make an effort to slow down what I say. If I CAN do it so CAN you!
The way God made me is awesome, I do wish more people would understand what my daily life consists of. I thank God everyday for a Husband who accepts me for me, and can see me and love me for my slow processing, math troubles, and ADHD. He more than anyone does not get my crazy connections. I sometimes wonder why God made me the way he did. Then I look back on my life and experiences, and think I wouldn't be doing what I do for a living if it wasn't for God making me the way he did.
If you want an example of what it is like to having a processing disorder I have some links listed below:
I am a 29 (almost 30) typical wife, mother, and teacher. I have 3 kids and I am married to the Love of my life for 8 1/2 years. He and I met in college and he accepted me for me and everything that entails. Everything that entails is that I am an adult with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, a learning disability in math reasoning, and a processing speed disorder. Those are a lot of big words and big things that actually molded me into becoming a special education teacher myself.
A little about what all those big words mean: Okay so as an adult with ADHD it isn't too bad, I have learned over the years how to help myself focus better and be less hyper. What it means in some instances though is that someone is talking and I relate something to it, I say it and it doesn't always make sense and people do not always get the connection. I cannot always stay still when sitting or pay attention to the same person speaking to me for more than 45 minutes. I get distracted quite easily but I have learned many coping mechanisms and other things to help with the ADHD. My mind is always running. Even when I am tired my mind is always making connections, see ADHD is something where one thing makes me think of another, then that connects to this, and this connects to that. It is a daily, hourly and minute struggle to make sure I am staying on topic and not jumping from connection to connection. Now my learning disability just affects me in higher order math skills such as x+2y+3z=____ don't ask me how to solve it, I have no idea; that's not really relevant though. Now onto Processing Disorder. What is processing disorder do you ask? It is where I read, hear, or see something and it takes me a bit slower to process this information than most. People sometimes think I am ignoring them or that I do not understand what they are saying. That is not it, honestly. What it is, you are telling me something and I am processing what you are telling me. It takes me a bit longer. So if you are talking fast, giving me a lot of information at one time sometimes I have to ask you questions to fully grasp all the information that was presented. I do understand what is being said, I am just processing what you said. Unfortunately there is a hard part to slower processing and that is that it is hard to make yourself process faster, and when I am tired or stressed to the max, it is super noticeable. I have done lots of mental games over the years and mental exercises which I know have helped.
My day:
My daily life is hard, I have to constantly focus, consistently try to make myself trying to process faster trying to survive in a world where things are faster, always around me and more and more distracting each and every day.It is hard for me to finish tasks without me having to redirect myself or make sure I stay on task, this is part of my ADHD. I work so hard mentally each day to focus, stay on task, process information, and stay calm that by the end of the day I am exhausted. I am just so LUCKY and GLAD to be around a group of fellow teachers who understand and help me in my daily journey at work.
I love my job and my students. The hardest part of my job is the training and the meetings, not because I don't like them because I process things so much slower, meetings usually go fast and have a lot of information. A lot of the time the speaker is on point 4 and I am still processing part 2, it makes life difficult and people get frustrated when I ask questions, but understand I am NOT asking questions because I do NOT understand, I am asking questions because I missed something they said because I was still processing part 2 when they were on part 4. Trust me I have days where my processing and are lower than others, I have good days and bad, we all do. I have days where I am like "Processing Disorder, what Processing Disorder I rocked it today" Then I have days where I am like I got 2 words out of the last 100 words you said, can you repeat that and wait for me to process it. When I am tired or stressed my ADHD and processing disorders are so much more noticeable. I was in an important meeting the other day, and the person spoke, and I could not focus on them, so I did not process what they were saying, and they seemed offended when I asked them to repeat what they said, I wasn't trying to be distracted and that was my fault. One way to help Ok if you are telling me something and you can tell it's an off day for me for processing, slow down, give me a chance to process and answer, PLEASE do not repeat yourself then the processing at a slower rate just starts all over again. I know this doesn't make sense to a lot of people and that is okay, but remember the children I teach, I have to watch myself too. I talk fast and my students tell me sometimes to slow myself down, and guess what I have to make an effort to slow down what I say. If I CAN do it so CAN you!
The way God made me is awesome, I do wish more people would understand what my daily life consists of. I thank God everyday for a Husband who accepts me for me, and can see me and love me for my slow processing, math troubles, and ADHD. He more than anyone does not get my crazy connections. I sometimes wonder why God made me the way he did. Then I look back on my life and experiences, and think I wouldn't be doing what I do for a living if it wasn't for God making me the way he did.
If you want an example of what it is like to having a processing disorder I have some links listed below:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiyBNZEuPPc
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